Wedding vs Marriage

Vivian right? That should be your name, he said.  All these Lagos boys sef. I gave him a very stern look because I wasn’t just down for this old toasting tricks. He said I looked like a young lady he used to know at Corona College. The mention of Corona College calmed my nerves a liitle bit and when I say a little bit I mean a little bit. It was like turning down the volume of a tv from 15 to 13. Although I must confess I was struck by the aura of the tall good looking guy standing in front of me. Just like a flash, I suddenly remembered who he was. Time would fail me to bring you up to speed on who this guy was but in a nutshell, I used to have a crush  on him sha.

We hooked up, gisted and brought ourselves up to speed on what was happening in our lives. This was the beginning of a supposedly beautiful relationship.  Fast forward to 8 months and we were getting married already. Now I was a spontaneous person, while he was someone who liked to play by the rules. I wanted a ‘talk-of-the-town’ kinda wedding, while he wanted a regular wedding. Do you want to test the power of a woman? I insisted, pushed and convinced him that it had to be done my way ‘cos wedding was supposed to be  a one-time ceremony, so we should make it count. He obliged.. We had the best wedding you could ever think of. Loads and Loads of cash went into the preparation and execution of the wedding. At a point I thought I was dreaming when I saw the Governor of my state at my wedding as well as a host of billionaires all present at my wedding. What more could i have asked for. A week after the wedding, we travelled to Dubai to Hawaii to Paris to Rome amd finally Las Vegas for our honeymoon. I’m pretty sure you are familiar with the popular saying that ‘what happens in vegas stays in vegas’. Vegas was loads of fun. After a month of travelling round ths world, we came back home to settle down and face our marriage squarely.  6 months into the marriage, things started going south. He was beginning to keep late nights. He would also come home dead drunk sometimes. He also told me about this ‘bros before hoes tin’ Whatever that meant I really cant say. I practically saw our marriage take a downturn before my very eyes and I couldnt do anything to salvage it. 3 months later tragedy struck and on one of his drunken nights he had a serious accident which left him paralyzesd on both legs. Its been 3 years and counting and he’s still in the same state. His so-called friends have all abandoned him, leaving the burden of taking care of him mostly on me, being that his siblings are all abroad and his parents are late. Truthfully, I am tired and frustrated right now. I practically have to do everything for him. Marriage is too painful, I say to myself everyday. I’m seriously considering sending him to a group home, so that I can have some fun and spontaneity back in life. I’m seriously at the cross roads.

Just for the record, my name is not even Vivian and the story you’ve just read now all happened in my dream. I dreamt and found myself listening to this beautiful story from a young girl.

Anyways, just like I woke up from my dream, same thing applies to wedding and marriage. Wedding is just like a dream but marriage wakes you up from the dream because wedding is a one-day ceremony while marriage is a life-long ‘ceremony’. Just like the old saying goes ‘Love is blind but marriage will open your eyes’.

Society today seems to place more emphasis on the wedding than the marriage itself. People spend so much time planning and thinking of how to have a successful wedding but never plan on how to have a succesful marriage. Asking questions is one step to having a succesful marriage. Learn to focus more on the marriage than the wedding.


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