Relationship

How To Have A Great Relationship

One of the best pieces of relationship advice I’ve come across goes thus: “A great relationship doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning but how well you continue building love until the end”. Thus, the first step in building a great relationship is finding the right person. As such, in bid to avoid a wrong and abusive relationship, some folks tend to look forward to finding the ‘perfect one’ but as you would have come to learn, this is just a myth.

Hence building great and healthy relationships 
requires the coming together of two ‘imperfect’ people who are ready to make a conscious effort to 
create their own kind of ‘perfect relationship’. Against this backdrop, below are traits that make a great 
relationship.

True Love

Even though it takes more than love to sustain a relationship, true love is still a key factor in sustaining a relationship. Overtime, the word ‘love’ has been used confused with ‘lust’, hence some people have 
given up their hope of finding true love because they found themselves in relationships with people who 
didn’t really love them but just had a lust for them, which unsurprisingly couldn’t stand the test of time. 
Thus, you should know that true love will stand the test of time. True love transcends beauty and other 
physical qualities. Any relationship built on material things without true love would surely collapse. Let 
love lead the way.

Trust

Trust is very vital in sustaining a great relationship. Without trust, there will be gross suspicion capable 
of destroying the relationship. You can never have a great relationship with someone who you cannot 
trust. The fact is that you can trust someone without loving them but you can’t build a great relationship 
with someone you don’t trust. Trusting someone doesn’t necessarily mean you wouldn’t ask them 
certain questions but when asking sensitive questions you must ensure that you don’t send the ‘I don’t 
trust you’ vibe to your partner. Also, trust when broken takes time to heal, so you have to learn to give 
your partner time to learn to trust you in the event that you break their trust at any time.

Effective Communication

Communication in relationships is very important, as without effective communication, there will be lots 
of assumptions and misunderstanding. You both must be able to express yourself in a way that you will 
both understand. Talk plainly, not in parables. Don’t assume your partner knows what you’re thinking 
when you never said anything to him or her. Don’t assume he or she should know what you’re passing 
through. Talk about your plans and visions with your spouse so that you both are able to align your 
goals. Also, remember that your body language is part of communication in relationships. Thus, when 
you apologise for an incidence, also show it with your body language.

Understanding

One recurring theme you’re likely to hear in a marriage counseling session is the word ‘understanding’.
This is the bedrock of building great and healthy relationships because if you understand your spouse
you’re more likely to be accepting of their shortcomings. No couple has exactly the same needs at any
time or feels the same intensity when they do occur. Whether it’s about sexual frequency, social
attachments or family obligations, it is important that you do not invalidate the desires of your partner.
In other words, understanding each other helps you to have respect and honour for unequal desires.
Understanding your partner also helps you to trust them better as well as avoid allowing seemingly little
issues lead to a mountain of problems. This factor can also bridge any form of communication gap, as
some partners who are introverts may tend to struggle with be open always. However, when you
understand your spouse, you would appreciate his or her uniqueness as well as be patient with them.

Forgiveness

According to Mark Twain, a man known for writing good relationship quotes, forgiveness is the
fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. Thus, it’s important to note that no
matter how much you both love and care for each other, times will come when you will offend each
other and have some form of disagreement over issues. You should know that holding a grudge against
someone can be a very heavy burden and you’re just going to be hurting yourself. This factor is one of
the major pieces of relationship advice handed down to couples during relationship counseling sessions.
Learn to discuss and settle differences. Discuss not argue. Don’t hold on to past errors and mistakes. No
one is above errors. Having an unforgiving attitude leads to bitterness, strife, hatred, and lack of trust,
which are all great relationship killers and create room for an abusive relationship. It is important to
note that bitter relationships never get better.

One of the most commonly asked relationship questions during marriage counseling and relationship
counseling sessions is the issue of what makes for a great relationship. It’s often said that sometimes we
don’t choose whom we love but we choose whom we stay in love with. Thus, fostering a great
relationship requires constant efforts from both parties in a relationship.

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