Motivation, Relationship

About Being Persistent: How To Be Persistent.

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There are times that you shouldn’t be persistent. For instance, when that guy or girl clearly doesn’t like you and has told you no two or three times when you ask them out, then it’s time to give up and move on. If you are too persistent in that case, you could get slapped with a restraining order! But, in most cases, persistence is something that can pay off for you in your career, health, relationships, and happiness. Before you go off committing to everything in your life, you need to know a few things about being persistent that will help you make the most out of your determination.

1. Negative Emotions Can Arise Unless You Are Laid Back

Highly persistent people tend to have better health and happiness overall, but research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders shows that they can also have more negative emotions and anxiety than people who are not highly persistent, especially if they are not laid back and tolerant of failure, difficulty, or setbacks.

Highly persistent and laid back don’t seem like they should go together, but if you want to avoid the negative emotions from arising, you may want to work on being more laid back in life. Negative emotions and anxiety can take their toll on your heart, digestion, sexual organs, and brain, so it is important to find a way to chill out and become more laid back if you want to be persistent in your life.

How can you be a more laid back person?

  • Find the humor in everything. When you can see the humor, you are more likely to laugh things off instead of feeling angry or hurt.
  • Become more playful. When you are playful, you approach everything in life with a playful attitude rather than a serious and ‘adult’ attitude. This can help you be more at ease when things go wrong.
  • Be joyful in everything you do. Find delight in every activity and the very fact that you are experiencing things in life, both good and bad. If you can find joy in the simple fact that you are alive, then your tension will melt away and life will become much more fun.
  • Develop a positive mindset. When you become optimistic about life, you reduce tension and become much more laid back. Being hopeful and confident in what is to come will help you make the most of today.
  • Believe in yourself. Negative emotions such as being ashamed, nervous, and upset can arise from not having faith in yourself or beating yourself up. Start believing in yourself and your ability to succeed, and you will help alleviate those emotions and be much more laid back.

2. Take Out Time To Reenergize

A lot of people think that being persistent means you have to work 7 days a week from morning to night on what you want to achieve. But, that is the worst way to maintain your persistence in life. It is, however, the quickest way to experience burnout! While it would be nice to have the energy of a battery operated bunny, we are human, and we need some downtime to reenergize and get back on track.

If you don’t take the time to reenergize, then you will start to produce less than desirable results. You won’t be on your game. You won’t be able to concentrate, find solutions, and be creative as well as you could when you are fully charged and ready to go.

You use up a lot of energy when you are being persistent. You need to use physical energy to get you where you want to go and keep you awake. You also need to use it if you are working on health goals or are in a physically demanding job. You need to use mental energy to make decisions, focus, be creative, listen, talk, learn, teach, use willpower, deal with hard things, and stay committed. You use mental energy in almost everything you do!

So, how can you keep your energy up high?

  •  Take care of your body. Exercise and nutrition have a big impact on your body’s health and its energy. If you are not taking care of yourself and feeding it what it needs or giving it the exercise that it needs, you will feel less energetic, more often.
  •  Keep your blood sugar steady for mental health. Your brain uses glucose to do its job, so when your blood sugar is low, your brain doesn’t have the energy it needs to perform properly. That’s not a good thing when you are focused on being persistent.
  •  Don’t dwell on things. It uses up a lot of mental energy that could be spent on being persistent. This includes things about past things that have gone wrong, not forgiving people and situations, and taking a long time to make decisions. You want to let go of those past things that are using up a lot of your energy and figure out a system to make decisions quickly and with the least amount of mental thought possible.
  • Work with your body’s natural ebb and flow of energy in the day. For most people, energy peaks in the middle of the morning and drops in the afternoon, followed by another peak in the early hours of the evening. If you can harness the times when you are most energetic to do the things that you need to be persistent with, then your energy will be used efficiently, and you can recharge during the down times with a nap or by focusing on things that don’t require a lot of energy.
  • Take days off. While being persistent can lead to a lot of health and happiness rewards, taking days off to do fun or relaxing things can help you recharge and maintain the energy needed to be persistent. For instance, most people have the weekend off from their job and should use that time to fill up their soul with laughter, fun, and new experiences. With that kind of recharge, energy will be ready and waiting on Monday morning.

3. Persistence Aids Talent

There are plenty of talented people who are not having any success in life. They simply can’t master the art of persistence, and because of that, their talent is not used in a way that benefits their life. This is important to remember as other people try to tell you what you can and cannot do.

If you want something, then persistence is the key to success. If you know you can get it, and you want it bad enough, your efforts are likely going to pay off. But, you need to stay persistent despite the people giving you the dirty looks or yelling in your ear that you can’t or shouldn’t.

So, how can you ignore the haters and keep going?

  • Remind yourself of how great you are every morning and every step of the way. Your self-confidence and self-worth will shut out anyone’s negativity.
  • Celebrate your successes with a passion. Even small successes will help you maintain that level of motivation to say persistent and get what you want.
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    Photo Credit: Dreamstime Stock Photos

4. Being Persistent May Not Pay Off For Some Goals

Have you ever heard the famous Kenny Rogers song The Gambler? In it, he sings, ‘You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.’ This is something you should keep in the back of your mind as you go after a goal you are trying to achieve. Sometimes you have to walk away and sometimes you have to run!

The truth is that sometimes you have to shift your goals in life. Just like when it comes to dating, not everything and everyone is going to work in your favor. Other people and circumstances play a part in your ability to achieve what you want, and sometimes you just can’t develop the ability to do something, no matter how hard you try.

We all have strengths and weakness, and sometimes people persistently try to make their weaknesses better to no avail. I think life is too short to try to make ourselves great at something we just can’t master, and we should focus on using our strengths instead.

So, when should you stop being persistent on one goal?

  • When your goals conflict with your natural ebb and flow. You may want to get up at 5 in the morning to go for a run and get started earlier on your day, but if your body is not able to adjust to the lack of the sleep, then you are going to suffer during your day from fatigue and a reduction in productivity. I know, I tried to develop this goal for a long time with no luck. Your energy will be drained and you will be unable to maintain your persistence and your productivity will suffer.
  • When you are getting no results. Getting no results is a sign that something is wrong and you need to tweak your plan or goal a bit. For instance, if you spend months eating a particular diet and exercising, but are not getting the results you want, then it may be time to tweak what you are doing. Even though every guru says that it is the only diet that works, it may not work for you while something else will. You are unique, and you have your own path in life, so even if it works for everyone else, recognize when it is just not working for you

5. Persistence and Motivation Work Together         

You may think that working towards a certain career is what you should do, but is it what you want to do? If it’s not, then you are going to lack motivation, and you will have a hard time being persistent!

Motivation comes from a longing to have or achieve something. It gives you the energy you need to move forward and helps you stay committed in times of disappointment. In short, if you are not motivated, you will not be persistent, or you will have a VERY hard time being persistent, which will eventually wear you out.

To find motivation, you need to do a few things.

  • Work on the things you resonate with. Don’t go after something because you feel like you should go after it. Instead, do what resonates with you as exciting, rewarding, and fulfilling.
  •  Figure out what motivates you. It might be giving your family a better life or being around for a longer time. There are reasons that you want to achieve more success, improve your health, and be happier, and those specific reasons are going to remind you why you need to be persistent when you don’t feel like going on.
  •  Share your intentions. When you tell a bunch of people what you intend to do, it’s less likely you will want to give up. Being accountable to others boosts your motivation simply because you don’t want to let them down or be viewed as a failure.
  • Make short-term goals. It’s hard to maintain motivation for years. But, if you make short-term goals, such as weekly goals or even daily goals that help you reach your long-term goals, then you will feel like you are having much more success and stay motivated to be persistent in your actions.

Keep in mind that balance is key to everything we do in life.

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Relationship

Three Tips For A Perfect Date Night 

By all accounts, you’re a successful business person. You’ve put a lot of thought and work into moving ahead and now you’re reaping the rewards.

For some people, though, professional success can come at the expense of personal relationships.  But that doesn’t have to happen to you.  In fact, the very same habits that propel you to business success can work wonders in your romantic life.
Employ these 3 tips and to make the most of your date night.

1. Keep Your Appointments

You didn’t become successful by constantly rescheduling your important business meetings. Honor the time you’ve set aside for your significant other in the same way by keeping your appointments.  Your commitment to spend time together will keep your love going no matter how busy your work schedule gets.

2. Have An Agenda

The most productive business meetings operate by an agenda, and the same is true for date night. Have a concrete plan for how you want your date night to proceed. Don’t be afraid to take the lead here, your partner will appreciate your thoughtfulness.  This doesn’t mean tossing spontaneity aside.  Rather, a clear plan for your night out will allow you to be spontaneous without running the risk of missing out on what you’ve already scheduled.

3. Conduct A Post-Op

Post-op meetings are important after any project is completed. They give your team the chance to identify what did and didn’t work well.  Your date nights should be approached the same way. What was the highlight of the date? What should we try again and what do we want to reconsider? Conducting a post-op demonstrates you’re committed to improving the quality of your relationship, even if it means admitting some mistakes were made.

Increase your measure of happiness by translating your successful business habits into your personal life and watch your partner love you more for it.

Relationship

Come and See The Secret To Living A Good Life

Ever wonder what the secret is to leading a good life? There seems to be one study that has finally solved the burning question.

Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger is a director of a long running study on adult development conducted by Harvard University. Since 1938, the 75 year old study has observed 724 young men. They were divided into two groups: sophomore college students who went off to graduate and serve in World War II, and young male teenagers who lived in some of the poorest neighborhoods of Boston, Massachusetts in the 1930’s. When they entered the study, they were interviewed, given medical exams, and their families were interviewed as well.

Their lives remained under observation for several decades. The observations included surveys, interviews, and records of behavior during specific life events. The result of these observations were definitely interesting –– in some cases, they were extraordinary. Some of them have gone on to climb the social ladder, one became the president of the United States, doctors, lawyers but some developed alcoholism, and a few developed schizophrenia.
“The founders of this study would never in their wildest dreams imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues,” Waldinger said.

In the TedTalk “What Makes A Good Life? Lessons From The Longest Study On Happiness,” Waldinger laments over a recent survey on millennials. The survey showed that over 80% say their life goal was to become wealthy while the 50% of the group said their aim is to become famous. He realized that today’s youth was told to “lean in” may have lead them into believing that acquiring a higher status equates to happiness. This wasn’t the case. Though riches and fame are good to have, none of these material things were the key to a good life.
What they discovered is that key to a good life is having healthy relationships.
“It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health,” Waldinger said.
Based on the conclusions of Harvard’s historical study, Waldinger explains three lessons everyone can learn about healthy relationships:

1. Loneliness Is A Killer
1 in 5 Americans have reporter to feeling lonely. Waldinger went on to emphasize the importance of social connections, and how these interactions will keep you happier and healthier. People who connect with their family, friends, and community will lead more fulfilling lives compared to those who live in isolation.

2. Quality Over Quantity
It’s not about how many friends someone has, but it’s more so about the quality of those friendships that will determine your happiness. It’s the quality that matters. Waldinger took a look at their 80 year old and spoke to them about how they felt during their 50s. Despite facing health health related issues, it was their “protective relationships” during their middle age that helped improve their moods by age 80. Those who didn’t have those healthy relationships, like a marriage, at that age felt more physical pain in their later years.

3. Good Relationships Protect Your Body And Your Brain
Just as our healthy relationships can improve our moods and health at an old age, they can also help in improving our brain function. Waldinger discovered that participants who were in healthy relationships through the span of their lifetime had sharper memories compared to those who didn’t. People who have led unhealthy relationships have also seen a decline in memory function. The significance of good relationships is being able to depend on another person, and essentially being happier.

“Good relationships keep us happier and healthier,” Waldinger says.

The greatest take away we can get from this study is that as a society, we must stop trying to find a “quick fix.” We must center our goals in life on cultivating and maintaining happy and healthy relationships. We must work on spending time with other who will bring light into our lives, but we must also act as a light for others as well. Putting our energy into happier and healthier relationships with others is key, and quality trumps over quantity. Although healthy relationships take a lot of time and hard work, it’s important to invest our time on these relationships to lead happier, longer lives.

T.D Jakes